exams havent been smooth.. no doubt, im smiling hard outside but crying alone at night. i hate exams, it makes me stressed out. and if u wanna persue a degree and u think ur hard working enough, then go uol, if not, dun even get close to it. waste money, 24k for 3 years btw. (retaking exams fees not included.)
im no exam material. thus, UOL really makes me go depressed for months. today exam was netherless unsuccessful, especially when i heard the papers is a 'can be done' paper.. n from the moment i received the paper in my very bad fengshui sit, i knew i cant get thru the paper with 34. i hate maths, i hate the nincompoop who invented this shitty subject.shitty shits, maths = mads. people who loves maths are mad, (yes im jeolous)
whats up with integrating and differenciating when u wont be using it in my life? waste space in ur brain cells.
stats was bad, econs was worst(although all the paper are managable)if i cant make thru this whole exam, i think i'll drop off the idea of studying in uol. i will go back working and facing crappy people once more. i will continue draughting once again.
i realise i have been always been given a second chance which is fairly good.in the sense that i never held tight wad i have for the first time, or choices and i ended up losing it. and then,i will come to a sense that i have to persue harder once more. most of the time, i get a reasonable result. but it took me more time then others to achieve it.thus i feel lousy. yes im a determined person, i alwaes regret once i lose it, and then come back to my senses and really do well again, but i realise this is no good. i jus take things for granted.
lets quote some example.. i was a normal ache student, then i miss a chance in sec one to go to express, so its my 2nd and final chances that i can go up to express in sec 2. i did it! then i had my relax mode till the Os(i hate exams) ok, then i flunk my eng and cant get to anywhere, i dun wanna go ite. so i ended up wasting a year retaking my Os before heading up to poly. haha isnt it no different? waste time, waste money. but i see myself being happier even i waste that year.
then comes to poly. poly is totally different, u had ur frens there every single day. i for once, see myself enjoy school life with the frens who r alwaes there for u selflessly. sharing the same interest. wes and azhar are people who help unconditionally in year one. then diana and xinyi were there for me when it comes to chionging projects together in yer 2 n 3. yes there are the other bunch who were there. we work hard happily together.. aiming to be away from the sleepless nite.
but uni, uni is different. u have the frens there, but we never do much studying together, its really all bout ourself. u need help, u ask. nobody will ask u, how, can do? give u some ideas, r u sure this and that and this? and i guess becos studying is a total different methodwith accordance to designing, u dunoe what to ask, or rather, u dunoe how to tell. or maybe, i haven touch reading so much and doing so much maths. biz indeed kills more brain cells then designing.
i regret not studying harder, not putting in efforts from the start. as in do more maths tutorial.(i finsih all my tutorials loh) i noe i cant do last minute study and still, i disobey my weakness. please let me go thru all the exams. i promise i will start studying even b4 school term start. let me get my modules, although, although i noe, i wont be doing micro economics with the rest, becos i flunk my maths. like dear says' i havent even start, fail already'. haha.
i still have 2 more papers. i dunoe if i will have the mood to enjoy after this whole exams, i dun feel like seeing people, i have a tendency to feel look down upon. i dun like to be asked hows my study and then i have to say ok lah to many people. so if u happen to see me one day, dun ask me how is my study, becos, i dunoe wad to ans..dun ask me how am i doing becos, im not working nor earning big bucks sitting at home. maybe if u see me.. just walk away, hide behind the columns. or jus smile and walk away. i will appreciate the ignorance.. hehe.
mugg hard uol people, i left 2 more papers..u? (wadever)
