im feeling very sleepy this whole week.. wad is wrong? m i the only one like that?
congrate shannie!!!, on ur first time pass!.. ok so where shall we celebrate?... hmm.. buffet sounds nice.

im officially on a week holiday, and most of my days, i woke up at 1pm. i really shouldnt carry on waking up that late. so unhealthy for me. on tuesday, i went to my ah ma's neighbour wake. we call her kiong soh. she was my cousin's god grandmother. yep my grandmother actually gave a child which is my aunt, to kiong soh. kiong soh was once a 'jiang hu ren wu". she will fight with those who bully her children. she open gambling den , but its gambling among the neighbours. my mum told me during the 80s when my eldest uncle was in ns, he was posted tothe police. n during that time, some kids will 'kua jiu"(meaning look out on police) and then just then my uncle wanted to borrow toilet from kiong soh's house. so the kua jiu boy actually asked those aunty to keep those colourful sticks.(erm dun noe wad isit called) and bcos of the toilet incident, kiong soh lost quite a few pack of those colourful sticks, cos they actually flushed it down the toilet bowl...
while they were going through the procidure of praying, i suddenly jus cried. someone, so closed, could have just gone by and u never know when. do cherish every single moment because u will never know when ur love one will jus go..
today, dear took half day leave cos his boss is not in the office. and i wanted a study day with him, but ended up, he is slping on his bed. arg, wad a let down. ok.. i think i shall go play my nintendo now..

Christmas day!
after waking up at billys', we went down to get my christmas present. hehe
tadah!

and our first try on our new family.

see! altogether for 400dollars!
my nintendo ds lite.
we have actualy discuss between this and psp and i wanted nintendo badly n he thinks that it might faced out and wanted to get psp cos i can use it for my mp3 and he can take back his mp3 from me.. blah blah. and its luckily, on christmas eve,he saw his cousin playing with ds lite, he decided to get one for me. haha. wad a waste on finding the price and stats for psp for the past few mths. but i can tell u abit bout psp though, cos all the information are in my head now. so u wanna noe anything about psp, feel free to ask me. so everything cost up to 400 plus. afterwhich i bring dear to this little erm, mango ice cafe. ok it sell all the ice desert. so we had one small mango ice, while dear tried on our new gadget. we went back to his house and i fell asleep while he was dl some of the games. dear say there will be no present on december's mthsavasary cos, $100 is set aside one that, another $100 is my bdae present(he get me nuthing, but we had a good expensive meal though) and $200 on my christmas. so yah. it sum up for the very expensive present of the year. i jolly well noe i wont get another present this year.. thats him, some how, little surprises makes the day, even the moment. i have some words for him.. thx for being in my life, be it for a reason, season, moment or forever...

christmas eve eve was spend working. and then went to celebrate my cousin's 8 year old birthday mini pool side party at ue square. being with the kids are alot fun. they'r just so naive when it comes to talkng bout fat and boys in school, and also the usual 'best' friend or 'good' friend. like i always believe i had one, but those r so imaginary now. i dun believe in that anymore.but i still believe that friends which will come by whenever ur in ur lowest point or when u suddenly needed them. and my other cousin got into geylang methodist, which all the while i thought it was a girl school. we had majong section (thats with the kids also, the mum is pro on it, so the children take over this very talent ability, and the dad dunt noe bout it.[the dad is a fierce, chinese secondary school teacher])so yah basically my whole afternoon was kinda bored until night time, when me and my sis bring the birthday gal out to suntec city to catch the last 30 mins of the singapore garde festive. I TELL YOU!! IT IS GOOD! we didnt mange to catch the 4th storey one, only the 6th floor one, and worth if u spend on the weekdays tix that is. i didn bring my camera thus im shotting every single design pieces in my hp. afterwhich, we went to swenson, cos they have free ice cream for birthday people. but they r so clever lah, cos where got people will just go there for free ice cream and go off right? so ah, we order calamari and fries and another sundae. after which, we tried to find another gift for my cousin, y then it was already 11pm, so most shops are closed. in the end we got nothing and went home.

went shopping spree alone after lesson today. got myself -nothing. haha, most of the stuffs are for my friends. im not very good in choosing presents thus i have to make earlier plans to get stuff, or else, i will be unlucky or heng to get the last and only piece. its been another day without somebody beside u. thus no opinion was made. i have learn alot for this past 3 years when im with him,. infact, the one thing i learn, is to be independent. somehow, i always thought a relationship is bout 'counting on u' or 'yi kao'. but other then what bus number i m taking when im out, or what r we doing today. i think i can make choices very well being alone that is. i use to not eat when i am alone. but now, i could actually have lunch alone and then go shopping after that. still- provided its in a fastfood resturant lah. im still picking up on that.

i didnt had lunch alone though, had it with my parents and then go orchard to spend money again. my sister came to join me after her lesson too. she was suppose to get some stuff too. after much shopping, we went to my grandma's house for dinner and eat tang yuan. and i had fried oyster and bee hoon. my grandma cooks quite well. i guess i have been eating her food since young, thus my taste bud taste food like hers means good. then i forgot i havent get my boss present, cos his wife was such a nice lady to get me one. and then mummy brought me to imm to try my luck. ok i requested going there though. and i spend the rest of the night wrapping presents.

i had christmas dinner with shannie and huifen at pasta mania, cos i was on budget after realising that i spend almost 5k in jus half a year when im back to school. it means that all my savings are gone for good now. argh. thursday was always a tiring day for me. lesson starts at 9 and end at 5pm. hectic.. n i needed the rest for tomorrow's long day. but i am so happy when my internet connection is back.(jus becos i added .com behind singnet, and my connection wast operated) grr waste a mths bill for nothing. so needless to say, im pumping more entries which i long to post.

i have been updating without pictures for quite awhile, thus, my entries seems lengthy and boring. but then again, its just for people who loves me to update themselves bout me! so yea.. ok pictures soon!

weds 20th dec
had my usual pbf lesson and wait for dear to come for his econs lesson. so i have been seeing ting like 2 times last week and this week too. i think he recognise me already. and u noe what, i found out that if we want to crash classes or rather, if we wanna attend a lesson not from our time table, we could actually called the cater man and asked him to prepare another portion of tea brk snacks.anyway, econs lesson wasnt the topic dear wanted to attend , he actuallly crashed weds lesson cos he wanna go out with me on friday. but now, we have to give up our friday outing. oh yea, i have two christmas goodies this year and a present from daniel. thx! as usual, i gave out presents too..

i have no idea what kinda blogskin i will like too change into. thus i shall stick with this easy one first for the time being. and then when i have my home internet back, i'll try to search for a much nicer one. so yup! my new blogskin-for the time being=)

i need more plans, to indulged myself, on what? i thought bout many many stuffs.. like baking.. and i realise i dun have a proper oven. i thought i should just rest at billys', and i realise we have christmas shoppings to finish. there are over 100 errands i know i should be doing, like working on my econs, maths, stats, pbf and accounts, or calling singtel to answer my internet problem, and called up laogong for a dinner. meeting up with javier and mummy and having dinner at my grandma's place..then i realise, i dun have that enough time to do that many.. so all i want for christmas, is to spend time with people i love, like laogong and wes, and zhar, melona n duck and rong, and shannie, huifen, sandie and chris and my family, and secondary frens.and also my dear dear. so how shall i make my plan happen...?

christmas is coming, means, new year is coming means my exams is nearing... means, i need to sleep more now.

[[[[[was looking for her, then coincidently, i saw chenning chatting with her friend! oh well, i just nod my head and didnt bother so much, just tap on diana's shoulder to tell her she was behind her! then i carry on with my shopping! actually didnt want to bother so much, since i dont have anything to talk to her... i might as well look for jacket which is more impt! anyway she didnt even bother to say byebye to us oso... well wadever! diana n i happily continue our shopping after that!The reason why i dont bother so much is because she is quite pissed off abt angela's birthday celebration arrangement! she is quite unhappy that she was not asked to join the dinner tat day... oh well, i planned the whole thing and i dun want ppl to ruin my nite and dinner! so i only ask Diana along since our first plan failed! LOLx! then kelly joined us too becuase she was in our plan oso! hahaha 4 of us were having a nice dinner at vivocity swensens! then after seeing tat testimonial she gave angela during her bday, then i noe she was quite unhappy that we never ask her along! since u have the cheek to write it in testimonial for everyone to read, then i dun think u will bother what i write in here rite? it meant for everyone to read too! lolx! i dun care the consequences after writing tis, maybe nv tok, give cold shoulders to each other, or pretend nothing happen at all... or maybe it will affect our friends ard us too! but all are my own personal thoughts, i just hope friends ard us wont get affected by this too... u all can do wadever u like! hahaha i'm not bothered abt it at all! hahaha]]]]]]]copied and paste.

it is so weird when someone just poke into u and u dun even know what is going on... and it is definetely utterly shakering when she just interpret everything all by herself, so here goes what i want you to know, since you're refering to me.
1) pls do not interpret or mislead ur blog readers that i was mentioning you in angela's blog because i never specifically, particularly mean anyone because i know u want ur day to spend nicely with frens u love. i dun even know you plan the day. i just asked diana if i can be included but its ok if i cant. it is never upsetting, its more to understanding!
2) i dunoe what is going on in your mind about me, but i never am unhappy in anyway or whatsoeva. that day when i saw u and diana, i do wanna say hi, i thought i could find both of u all, but it turn out that i couldnt, i mislead my conclusion and asked diana too. she told me thus i can waive my mis-understanding with waht actually was happening...
3) what the hell is wrong with u and me? i havent be talking to you for so long, why r like punching into me just like that uh?
all and all.. i dunnoe whats wrong after we graduate... seems like everyone is telethapying each other n mis-interpreting the wrong idea n movement.

still.. life still goes on.. do ur own thinking, and be clear and conscious that what ur interpreting is the fact.and does not cause others to be unhappy.

my weekend was spend well socially but not acdemically.. Was suppose to go over to laogong's chalet but i was still choosing her present, so yah, i ended up walking around vivo alone and then met up with melona in town to have my lunch and also a quick shopping..
after working, i went to school to look for dear and we went to our fav place for dinner and then walk around ikea and headed to his house. i wanted to get some rest b4 a long night at laogong's chalet.n while dear catches his soccer match outside, i tried to get some rest in his room, unfortunately, i didn.. waited quite a long while b4 melona asked me to go to the chalet myself cos she is still not done with her dinner. so i called my dad to pick me up but he was in the airport already. then in the end, my cousin came over to pick me up cos they r all heading to the airport to get my mummy and aunty and uncle.(my mum isint happy cos i didn went to pick her up)hehe..
its kinda hard to get there if u dun have a vehicle luckily wes was guiding me n my cousin throughout the journey..the chalet was indeed wad u pay for for 4 days.. its so big and vacant at night. even the whole dat peeps come, still left lotsa space. we cut cake, sing bdae songs , play majong, watch tv, and then mark, zhar, wes, melona,zhiwei and me went town to the beach to like take a few pictures and we drove out to changi village to get some drinks. then i dropped 20 bucks on my way.. and then we drove to changi beach to find tiolet and play swing and sea-saw whole night, it was enjoyable, jus talking and chilling, and joking under the moon... its been so long since i sat the swing...
went back and help pack for laogong and then bathe and tried to sleep.. but was awaken by miss lee and the other guys, so yah... zhiwei bring me, melona n wes to tampines mac for breakfast and we chat till 1045 then they company me to expo for awhile before all of us head home, except wes, i think he went to changi hospital. i went home and slp from 230 to the nex day 830. dear called me a few times and i jus mumble somethings then i gup the phone. oh well.. im very slpy. sorrie dear..

Monday 111206
after lesson ended, i wait for my daddy to pick me up to dear hosue cos he is going to india for 41/2 days.. gonna miss him very much. afterwhich i went to meet cresa and weiyin and suzhen for awhile cos they're celeb cresa's 21st. so well, most of my friends are officially 21. yea, i thought giving presents is gonna end..nex year, i still have small kids turning 21... arghz...

ok, finally,i officially met up with him on friday.(he took mc after a hectic week of reservist) and is like a week of tortures and tears and many many heartaches before i get to face him with anger. like i say, he never love to solve problem, and shove my unhappiness away every single time i approached what i m unhappy about. while i stand up for my rights and blab my complains and unhappiness bout him to him. things went not well even after i went to school to find him on saturday noon.so we really had a long loud confessions on the phone.(i can never communicate with him on the phone bcos his expression throughout the whole conversation, be it happy, bei song, or tired its all the same-FIERCE, RUDE, LOUD.) although we have been together for so long, what i dislike seems unchangable, i just cant accept it.
i was sub-conscious with my swollen eyes while waiting for a bus outside school. not sureif i should just go home and sleep or still proceed to ben's bdae, i msg ducky to see where they are. eventually i came to a conclusion that whatever happen, i still have to be alive. met up with loviest gang at ps mos and m glad to see people that makes me smile no matter what. after an hour of 'suaning'. me duck n melon went to to get stuff b4 we went to ben's 21st chalet down East Coast.
i saw him again n turn out that, im fine with what ever issue we had earlier on.(i must really improve my memory to stay firm at what i want to qurrel about.) melona, duck n me then went to see if there is any available vacant chalet. and the funny part in the day was when ben's mum asked me where is she>>>lee xinyi. hahaha. so yah... anyway comment for the whole chalet was boring. ben even made a speech, and i dun even know what he mention.we went back to our chalet to watch tv and play cards with john and his fren. as usual, john is hilarious. haha.he was the ultimate loser and have to finsih up the drinks we got it from ben's chalet. they went back like an hour later and the gals went to shower while i go check out wads happening at ben's chalet. me and dear finally had our own time together while we went strolling at the beach.

rong came like 2pm plus and we had again bbq mushmellows and hotdogs and satays. while dear slep on my bed.we talk n joke and went to bed at around 4+. melon n ducky woke up early to catch hot bastards oops i mean man at the standard chartered marathon. to talk bout sleeping well with the aircon blowing at me.grrrrr. i ahd a bad sleep.dear and me woke up at 930 and he went back to his chalet house while i wash up. me a nd loviest then took a bus down to bedok for breakfast and headed to expo to get our undergarments in a cheap price. afterwhilch i went to meet dear at vilocity-the place is-NOTHING MUCH.. dear want to get a something for me, till he get it, i shall not mention bout it. cos he seldom keep his bloody promise. but this time round , he was quite enthu bout it, we shall wait for a week more.
we chated at night bout my unhappiness and he promise me he will be good to me. infact he did for the day. so i shall kp my finger cross again..

thx-
laogong, for the constant concern u gave me thru sms.
shannie, for the many complains i had bout him.
loviest people, for never fail in making me smile.

-dear is going india next week.
-li xuan and family coming back from aust this sat
-mummy and brother and relative are coming back from china this sunday
-aunty soo and family goin uk soon.
-mark, leng,diana are going taiwan this mth.
-and im going to america next week!!!!!!!!!!!!


(yah wait long long some more....)

my internet is really down now, thus i have to update my damn blog in school.

nothing much to update other then the complication of my unhappy,bloody relationship. like i say im no good role models for woman in a relationship, thus i have nuthing nice to share, nuthing healthy to contribute to my beloved readers.. im begining to feel single already. yup, and i cant wait!!! but after sucha long drag in this selfish, one sided, liveless life, with him. and also being turn down for a liveless creature name soccer, im realli beginning to feel real f* about his way of juggling life. to add on with NO need to patoh/ we dun need this/ now is about maintaining not romantic/study is more important/study on sat(which is my patoh day with him)/arghz.. u feel totally shit being his girlfren, like im being slot into his 'free' time..im getting really bored, yep... i mite as well put it down right?..hopefully soon..

some people just dun understand why a relationship is being dragged although u know there is nuthing you can do. i assemble some experience which might be the reasons..

1stly- it lasted too long
2ndly- u contributed so much and u hate n feel unfair to let it go just like that
3rdly- u still love him/her
4thly- u hate to see him holding hands with another guy/gal
5thly- he is such an asshole, u don't wan another victim to be falled on his hand
6thly- ur waiting for him to do the wrong move, like kissing another gal, or hugging a transversite, and thats when u have a chance to kick his ass, slap him, punch till he bleed, u never feel ur wrong, infact, i think it must be shiok, wahaha
7thly- he still love u..
8thly- he cant be bother bout it, and u thought one day he might.
9thly- ur waiting for him to slapped u hard-der.
lastly- ur stupid and clingy..

anyway, this might last again for a while and then we might get back together, but.. i dun hope much..
school isnt that bad.tests coming and gone. stop meeting with frens..

Ps: thx shannie gal.. for the long talk..
see the time now? yup, im still in school bcoz of him, aint i good? or stupid..

life sux for awhile now, i need to travel..

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CN aka lynn , libra
period dramas, good songs, better books, satisfying food,brandon TYY aka dearest aka YY aka fav boy aka indian boy aka
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