i was told off by my secretary again. for using the only internet computer to serve other programs like firendster n my blog in the office during lunch hour. OMG! see wad kinda life i'm looking, n scrimping for? damn!. hate this kinda life. its boring me. its taking away precious time.. n making everything worthless.

i have been picking up phone calls last 3 daes. it was a good start. thats wad i need. to be away from autocadz. its better then facing this NEC monitor everyday doin non-satisfactory works. i have gain the kinda confident speacking to non-face voices at the end of the line. they have nice voices, especially man at the other end. confident n manly.. other then that, nuthing new n interesting happened yet. oh n i have been reading story books while going to work. kills time. n definetly improved my knowledge. so if anyone is interested in libraries. ring mi up. read the Notebook once more. it is a good story book. romance and courage. nt the type of life i will love to live in. doing up the house everyday with the share of money from a company he iused to work before war. n canoe n kayak everydae at the lake. sigh.. this tory was actually made into a movie like few mths back. i watched it with him. the story is not exactly the same, not very detailed, but the line was there.

i suddenly feel very enthu with the art on my table. its in a mess where nobody will love to stick around. stack with grey thick files n papers of all sorts. n my bag ,wallet, hp, tiolet roles, pens, scalerulez, hand lotion and water botter lay around the white spaces seen. Good! n then i couldn't find my stuff, n waste time finding. but i like it. its a piece of art i created. n im beginning to wan to fill it with more A3s. i alwaes leave the company with satisfaction on mytable. well i have a picture of mi and my good old pals back during the poly daes after crit at burger king. that picture bring back good old memories. scene of the never ending events infront of the flat screen n solo crits n model making late at night... n the heffalump magnet laogong gave me, stick on my computer. i remeber she gave me this a couple of mths back after graduate when i was feeling down. she is jus my beloved laogong. ut some how we have drifted apart due to her studies n my work. sometimes i wonder if i were to leave the co. one day, i will ahve to rememebr to ask a box from the downstair's plotting shop. so i could stuff my belongings, like those pple in the shows gt retrenched did. quite nice ah. n they put flower pots n pencil holders n photograph. the they were look at the photo n touched them for awhile before placing it in the box. then when they leave, they will turn back and look at their table one last time before being escoted down by those no use securities. haha. drama.. drama!

I WON'T GIVE UP!.. or so i thought...hmmm...it was the first time experience and i blew my future jus like that. although i know i'm not the good one with the criteria they want. but i jus blew my only part which means hope.

I was stammering n shivering like a frighten puppy.GOSH, the others were good, confident and prepared.everyone was looking at me disappointedly. i knew i had to leave. so there were the first 5 and i'm out. OUT! u should see how disappointed i was. how much my tears will like to be seen. how the whole world seems so quiet, n how desperate i would like to see my future. i have to wait for another half a year.i sat down at the bus stop with my new friend from NUS. she was out too. it was her 2nd attempt. n she too was not ready to face the truth.we were blaming n faulting what was wrong, n the answer was indefinite.we bid good good bye n encourage each other for another time soon. hopefully i will then be fully groom n prepared n confident.n that i will not be too late..

i wasn't prepared to meet aneone. but i needed his shoulder.there he was, late,after his army. My tears fell freely seeing him. i guess i was comfortable n confident when he is around me. as always he told me what went wrong. and that i should be relaxed.... sigh!Disappointed.

Met up with the hougangers. its been awhile. yet the only talk they produced were still as boring.ARMY. some unpleasant things happen to a friend. working reality. Higher power rulez.[wadever] nex week would be harry potter n 'his' work in Sexpo. so i wouldnt be seeing him this weekend. n then the next would be his leg's operation n his ORD. i hope everything goes well..

sometime u jus don't think about work. u think more about other things. like how i listen to ying yue re ji every morning n put myself in their shoes.and how some of the writer resemble your life.n then u wonder if the "higher power" create someone like u with the same character n uncertainty. someone that experience the same thing as ur. n that u noe ur not alone. then i wonder if i will be a third party of a married man? will i be dump when im 27? will i be lonely for the rest of my life next time? yah im one person who think alot of unreality . probably that will prepared mi for the worst if 'it' happens one day..luckily i'm not in a company of good-lookings' n unavailables' . heex.

then i realise if i could choose, i will love to be living during the 80s. where there was king & queen. knights. or maybe mag, n warriors n bowman n archer...[hmm im drifting to mapling] if its possible then i will be a mag[magician,wizard]ok back. then u workhard n earn a few cents every mth.n u know its enough..

ok i shall stop..

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CN aka lynn , libra
period dramas, good songs, better books, satisfying food,brandon TYY aka dearest aka YY aka fav boy aka indian boy aka
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